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Did I ever tell the story about the time I tried to sign-up to eHarmony? I'm a bit of a test junkie and I was intrigued by the notion that they could personality match me to the right woman based on our test results. In actual fact I was - and remain - a bit of a sceptic, and was less interested in finding my mate than seeing what the tests said about me.
So one Saturday afternoon I sat down in front of my PC and for an hour studiously completed the exhaustive list of questions designed to illuminate just who H is. That's when it became odd.
Sure enough I got a bunch of reports back giving insights into different aspects of my personality. I can't remember what they said, but although I was a tad surprised in places I was generally in agreement with what they pronounced, for good and bad. Then I got anm email from eHarmony. Quite amazingly they pronounced they could register me with them as I did not fit into any one of their categories (or words to that effect).
I was flabbergasted. I'm the first, and occasionally the only person to think I'm pretty unique, but this was taking it too far. I didn't know whether to be insulted or flattered. Did it mean I didn't exist? Did it mean I was in my own category of one? How can it be that others have not recorded similar results as me?
I went off in a huff. That was it, eHarmony was shite.
Having established how distinctive my psychology is I can now make the same claim about my physical self.
For most of my adult life I've been possessed of a non-standard build. Not unique maybe, but not run of the mill either. For a lot of years buying a suit generally meant selecting a good sized jacket and matching it with a pair of trousers one size down (when they allowed it). Even then some additional adjusting was generally required.
I've always had big shoulders and chest. Even at my least fit they've been a good bit bigger than my waist. At my fittest the difference is pretty decent, but in recent times it has started to become quite silly.
I've had a problem for a while with business shirts. I like to wear the fitted shirts rather than the old fashioned boxy types. Mostly that's good except I've discovered they can be pretty tight in the forearms. My forearms are pretty big these days and now my biceps, always pretty handy, have swelled to the size of grapefruits. More than not my arms feel pretty tightly constrained.
It doesn't stop there. My recent personal training has made my chest 'prouder' if that makes sense. I fit in the shirt if it's the right size, but my chest stands out. More difficult in suits unfortunately.
I tried on a suit the other day and realised times have moved by me. I seem to have the choice between getting a suit jacket snug to the fit and which just buttons up (awkwardly), or a jacket that buttons up properly but is a bit boxy. Generally I take the fisrt option - I rarely button my jacket up anyway - but it's not entirely satisfactory.
I put the suit back in the rack and left the store, realising that the only real option for me these days is to go tailor made. That's what I am now, tailor made man. (That doesn't mean I'm in super shape - I'm not - I just have a particular build.) Now if only I could get that for my psychology too...