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I lay in bed last night reading. As is his custom Rigby lay atop the bedclothes with his head resting upon my knee. He watched me with half closed eyes and already had the slow, heavy breathing of impending sleep. I was reading a story by Stefan Zweig. The story reminded me of another by Ivan Bunin. By association then my mind leapt even as I continued to read, to another story by Bunin that seemed in some way to parallel the relationship between Rigby and I.
Changs Dream's is a marvellous, often tragic, but ultimately life affirming story of a man and his dog and their ongoing relationship as the mans life goes from wrack to ruin. Throughout Chang, the dog - through whose eyes the story is told - remains devoted to his master. He watches the decline sympathetic and protective of his master but powerless to do anything much to help him. He is all love and loyalty, as dogs are.
In the story the tragic life of the man, an ex-sea captain, finally comes to a premature end, but Chang finds another life to go on with. My life is not tragic and gives no indication it might become so, touch wood, but I feel it tied to Rigby much as the captain's life was tied to Chang. Rigby watches me, follows me, he holds tight to my orbit. He likes nothing more than to snuggle and to touch, he shares his devotion, his affection freely. For the most part I am touched by this, though there are times I wish he were more independent.
Like Chang and the captain though we feel like a team, bound tight to each other while we - I particularly - go out into the world to quest for all manner of things. I return from my quests and he is waiting. I may see all manner of women and bring some of them home, but for now they are transient episodes. Life revolves all around us ever-changing, ever-challenging, but in the still-point at the centre of it is Rigby wanting only to share with me. Rigby is the constant, my wingman if you like, and me his beloved master.
I've said before that if I ever find a woman to love me as Rigby does then I'll be a lucky man. Equally true is that I ever find someone I trust as much as he and who inspires as much casual affection as he does then there is nothing more I could ask for.
