I have an open mind on much which seems esoteric or unlikely. There are skeptics and believers both by nature and I fall somewhere in between. I take very little on faith, but I am also prepared to reserve judgement until I find evidence one way or another to lead me to a conclusion.
After all these years I'm yet to fully resolve an opinion on the supernatural. In general I want to believe, if only because the existence of the supernatural makes life so much more interesting. I'd love to spend a night in a haunted house just to experience it, part of me thinks it would be groovy if vampires really existed (which, sadly, I doubt), and my thoughts on zombies are well known. What about life after death?
Being an atheist I don't believe in heaven or hell, though I'd like to. Right now I generally believe that once you die you moulder in the ground and that's pretty well it. That's hardly an attractive proposition and so I'm open to a convincing reason to believe there is some kind of life after death. I don't see being an atheist as incompatible to that belief. I just need more reason to support it.
I do believe there is, as they say, more in heaven and earth than we can see. I believe that we have greater powers than we commonly use, whether they be simple intuition or some kind of foresight. Of course once you start down that track it opens up whole raft of suppositions and questions, few of which I'm capable of answering. My belief in this instance is based on my experience - enough has occurred in my life to make me wondere. At times I have experienced an uncommon insight that leads me along a path before deserting me. I cannot explain, but nor can I dismiss - so I am left wondering.
Yesterday I saw a medium. It wasn't my plan to do so. My mum had arranged with my sister yo have one visit her at home. I was busy with work and saw no reason to be there, but mum insisted. Once there I thought I would simply support mum and no more. In the way of these things though I found myself sitting across from this guy while he communicated with the spirit world on my behalf.
I'm not about to go into what he told me. Much of it was relevant and all of it interesting. There were things that made sense, and insights that resonated strongly with me. Does that make it real? No, not necessarily, but it doesn't sisprove it either. There are things I was told I will now wait to see if they transpire. One in particular is a good test - he described to me a girl I would get with. He told me her name and described her appearance and personality to me. Funnily enough I know a girl of that name, and like her (as she does me I think). And she fits the desrcription perfectly, right down to her fashion choices. October.
Afterwards I chatted to him about his gift, fascinated. He was a young guy a little over 30 I would guess. He explained how when he was a kid he would hear voices he couldn't explain. It troubled his mother greatly. Over time he came to understand and appreciate the gift he had been given. He said he hears voices all the time, to the point he must tune out. It's like he's a conduit to another world. He doesn't see the spirits ciommunicating through him except occasionally as an energy source. Mostly they are at his back talking to him.
Upon further questioning he explained there are different levels in the afterlife which correspond roughly with how enlightened we were in life. Karma exists he said, and affects how we'll come back - if there are lessons to be learned, or penance to be done. He's a believer and pasionate about what he does. Whatever I might believe I'm sure he's no fraud.
What am I left to believe then? Time will be the judge on that I guess. Whether it's connected or not, after seeing him I felt drained flat, and had one of my very few headaches.
